With the NFL season only eight days away, I figured I’d help you degenerates out and give you some over/under projections to bet on. Who am I to give you advice? I AM THE KING OF DEGENERATE GAMBLERS! LET’S GET TO THE PICKS!!

Arizona Cardinals- 7 wins

Over. The Cardinals will shock a lot of people this season. Will they win 13 games and win a Super Bowl? Doubtful. But will they win 9 games and be in a Wild Card game? Extremely likely.


Atlanta Falcons- 7.5 wins

Under. The Falcons have the toughest schedule in the league. Couple that with the fact they are now in the same division with Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and Teddy Bridgewater. We could see Atlanta picking top five in the draft next year and getting Matt Ryan’s replacement.


Baltimore Ravens- 11.5 wins

Under. Since 2000, there have been 12 teams who won at least 14 games in a season. The following season, those teams combined averaged 10.4 wins. I still think this team wins double digit games and the division. But with Big Ben coming back and a revamped Browns team, over 11 wins is going to be tough.


Buffalo Bills- 9 wins

Over. If this team wins under 9 games, it is a failure of a season. On paper, this is the best the Bills have been in a long time. They are also playing in a AFC East absent of Tom Brady for the first time in 20 years, this should be a cakewalk for them.


Carolina Panthers- 5.5 wins

Under. I think Carolina is going to be hit the hardest by COVID-19 era football. They have a new head coach and a new QB with no training camp and no preseason. The talent is definitely there, but I see them struggling this season.


Chicago Bears- 8 wins

Under. This is a tough one for me. The Bears won 8 games last year, and there is no way they can get worse offensively then they were last year, even with the QB controversy. At the same time, they are in a highly competitive NFC North that now has Matthew Stafford back in the picture. Bet the under, but don’t bet a lot of money.


Cincinnati Bengals- 5.5 wins

Under. Even with Joe Burrow on the roster, this team has too many question marks for me to bet the over. Is Zac Taylor a legit head coach? Will AJ Green stay healthy? Will the offensive line keep Burrow clean? Can they compete with anyone in the AFC North? I’m afraid the answer to most of those questions is “no”.

Cleveland Browns- 8.5 wins

Over. I think the hiring of Kevin Stefanski alone gets the Browns to. 500. Then you factor in: they addressed their tackle problem; added Austin Hooper; have Myles Garrett back; and Baker seems to have his head back on straight, this is bare minimum a 9 win team.


Dallas Cowboys- 9.5 wins

Over. This Cowboys team is absolutely loaded on both sides of the ball. The NFC East is in disarray outside of the Eagles who have seem to caught the injury bug yet again.


Denver Broncos- 7.5 wins

Over. This is another risky bet. If Drew Lock plays well, which I believe he will, this is a 10 win team. However, if he struggles, this team will be lucky to win 7 games.


Detroit Lions- 7 wins

Over. Healthy Matthew Stafford > 7 wins. It’s simple math.


Green Bay Packers- 9 wins

Over. I have the Packers winning 9 games exactly, but this is over/under bets. I can’t see the Packers winning less than 9 games with Aaron Rodgers under center.


Houston Texans- 8 wins

Over. Slam Bill O’Brien all you want for his questionable moves as a GM, he has been a solid head coach. In five of his six seasons, he has finished over .500. As long as he has Deshaun Watson on the field, the Texans will win at least 9 games.


Indianapolis Colts- 9 wins

Under. I don’t have much faith left in Phillip Rivers. I think his turnovers will follow him from LA to Indianapolis, and besides offensive line, he is playing with a much worse roster.


Jacksonville Jaguars- 4.5 wins

Under. #TankForTrevor is in full swing with the release of Leonard Fournette. This is a bad team, in a tough division, with a tough schedule. It will be nothing short of a miracle if this team wins more than 3 games


Kansas City Chiefs- 11.5 wins

Over. The Chiefs lost nobody important and actually upgraded at RB this offseason. If the 500 million dollar man stays healthy all year, this is a 12 win team for sure.


Las Vegas Raiders- 7.5 wins

Under. I’m going to take the under here, but I could very easily be wrong. Yes, they do have one of the league’s hardest schedule, and the best team in football in their division. But they upgraded their receiving/linebacker core, two of their weakest positions groups on the team. If Derek Carr can get hot, this is a 9-10 win team, I’m just not sure that happens.


Los Angeles Chargers- 7.5 wins

Over. One of the best rosters in the NFL, with a QB who doesn’t turn the ball over? That’s at least an 8 win team.


Los Angeles Rams- 8.5 wins

Under. The more I say “The Rams are going to bounce back this year”, the less I believe it. The Rams went 9-7 last year, most of that was because of awful play by Jared Goff. I do think Goff bounces back, but the Rams lost some big pieces on defense and their offensive line is getting old. They could shock me, but at this point I’m not convinced enough to bet the over.


Miami Dolphins- 6 wins

Over. The Dolphins won 5 games last year with an atrocious roster. They infused that roster with talent through free agency and the draft. Although I expect Tua to take over at some point in the season, Brian Flores is a good enough coach to win more than 6 games.


Minnesota Vikings- 9 wins

Under. Talented roster, talented enough coaching staff to win at least 9 games, more than that is pushing it. With the departure of offensive coordinator Kevin Stefanski, Stefon Diggs, Trae Waynes, and a questionable offensive line, it makes it hard to bet the over.


New England Patriots- 9.5 wins

Under. The Patriots were only competitive last year because they had Tom Brady, who is now in Tampa Bay. They also had key players like D’onta Hightower opt out of the season, who is the captain of the defense. Maybe Belichick and Cam can surprise us, but this is a 7 win team at best.


New Orleans Saints- 10.5 wins

Over. With the addition of Emmanuel Sanders and Malcom Jenkins, I see no reason why the Saints pull back. The division became tougher with Tom Brady arriving in Tampa, but this an 11 win team.


New York Giants- 6 wins

Under. New head coach, young QB. This will be another team that will suffer from no camp or preseason.


New York Jets- 6.5 wins

Over. Shocking, I know, but hear me out. The Jets won 7 games with Sam Darnold being out for half the season. He’s back and healthy with who they hope to be their franchise tackle in Meckhi Beckton. They lost Robby Anderson to free agency, but I believe second round pick Denzel Mims will emerge as a solid option this season.


Philadelphia Eagles- 9.5 wins

Under. The injury bug has hit the Eagles again with Carson Wentz and first round pick Jalen Reagor going down in practice. If they can get and stay healthy, this is still only a 9 win team.


Pittsburgh Steelers- 9 wins

Under. The Steelers went 8-8 without Big Ben last year, and he’s back. However, he’s 38 and I believe his best days are behind him. I believe the Browns finish second in that division behind the Ravens, leaving the Steelers at around that 8 win mark again.


San Francisco 49ers- 10.5 wins

Under. Super Bowl hangover will hit this team hard this year. It seems the organization isn’t sold on Jimmy G as their franchise QB. Matt Brieda and Emmanuel Sanders departed in free agency, Deebo Samuel and first round pick Brandon Aiyuk went down in practice with injuries. I love Shanahan and that defense, but I can’t see them winning over 10 games.


Seattle Seahawks- 9.5 wins

Over. The NFC West will be competitive, but outside of the Seahawks, every team has question marks. With Wilson at the helm, this is a 10 win team at the very least.


Tampa Bay Buccaneers- 9.5 wins

Over. Tampa Bay was a good team last year, they just had a QB who constantly turned the ball over. The offensive firepower they possess is unreal, and had a top fifteen defense last year. Now you throw in the GOAT, this team should cruise to double digit wins.


Tennessee Titans- 8.5 wins

Over. The Titans will definitely come back to Earth this year. However, with the offense running through Derrick Henry, they should win at least 9 games.


Washington Football Team- 5.5 wins

Under. Too many questions on this roster, the biggest being QB Dwayne Haskins. With head coach Ron Rivera being diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago, the obscene accusations of owner Dan Snyder, and COVID-19, too many distractions for the Washington Football Team this year.

Hopefully these picks will help you win some money this season! Tune in every Friday for my top 5 picks against the spread!

Feature photo courtesy of Clutchpoints.com

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